Tuesday, October 17, 2006
But on the bright side...
I did attend the aforementioned pre-bachelorette dinner in last year's jeans...Express Precision Fits - size 5/6. Woo-hoo!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
"I Feel Like A Woman..."
Question: How do you know when you are a 37 year old mother of three living in the midwest?
Answer(s): When you get invited to a bachelorette party and you don't buy anything new to wear. You attend only the pre-party dinner portion of the festivities and pass on the limo bus that takes you from club to club because you have to be able to leave at any moment in case you are needed at home. You stop at a CVS Pharmacy on your way to the restaurant because they have an ATM affiliated with your bank and you won't pay any fees to make a cash withdrawl PLUS they have some semblance of a perfume counter where you can douse yourself with a few shots of a "tester" bottle cause you have not even one DROP of perfume at home...not even a squirt or two of one of those Bath and Body Works body sprays. You drive by yourself, clutching and continually checking your "printer version" of the mapquest directions. You're the second one to arrive at the restaurant (the mother of two beat you there) and you valet park your minivan instead of pridefully searching for that one primo free parking spot on the street. You sit down and say "man, I need a drink" and order a glass of Shiraz.
Yes. I attended a bachelorette party DINNER last night with a wad of $60 fee-free fast cash in last year's jeans and that sweater I got for Christmas smelling of...Shania.
Shania, by Stetson.
So basically, to summarize, you know you're a 37 year old midwestern mother of three when your post party headache is caused by the cheap, free perfume you wore and not the quantity of shots you consumed.
What a difference a decade makes.
Answer(s): When you get invited to a bachelorette party and you don't buy anything new to wear. You attend only the pre-party dinner portion of the festivities and pass on the limo bus that takes you from club to club because you have to be able to leave at any moment in case you are needed at home. You stop at a CVS Pharmacy on your way to the restaurant because they have an ATM affiliated with your bank and you won't pay any fees to make a cash withdrawl PLUS they have some semblance of a perfume counter where you can douse yourself with a few shots of a "tester" bottle cause you have not even one DROP of perfume at home...not even a squirt or two of one of those Bath and Body Works body sprays. You drive by yourself, clutching and continually checking your "printer version" of the mapquest directions. You're the second one to arrive at the restaurant (the mother of two beat you there) and you valet park your minivan instead of pridefully searching for that one primo free parking spot on the street. You sit down and say "man, I need a drink" and order a glass of Shiraz.
Yes. I attended a bachelorette party DINNER last night with a wad of $60 fee-free fast cash in last year's jeans and that sweater I got for Christmas smelling of...Shania.
Shania, by Stetson.
So basically, to summarize, you know you're a 37 year old midwestern mother of three when your post party headache is caused by the cheap, free perfume you wore and not the quantity of shots you consumed.
What a difference a decade makes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)